Today’s June Is Audiobook Guest is brash, obnoxious, and I will grudgingly admit, gifted narrator R.C. “I’m too cool just to call myself Bob” Bray. Bray, always willing to whore himself for some cheap publicity, agreed to stop by my blog today, despite our contentious yet subtly Freudian relationship.
Today we will be discussing the process narrator Bray underwent preparing to take on the role of stranded astronaut Mark Watney in the Audie nominated audiobook production of THE MARTIAN by Andy Weir from Podium Publishing. You can see a bit of that process in the following trailer for the upcoming reality series about Bray’s transformation from smart alecky narrator to smart alecky narrator voicing a smart alecky astronaut in BECOMING MARK WATNEY.
So, welcome to The Guilded Earlobe Professor Bray.
Bite me, Bob.
I may take you up on that, MD.
When you first contacted NASA about flying into space to prepare for a role in an audiobook, were you surprised by their reaction to your request?
Other way around, Bobby. NASA contacted me to see if I wanted to use their sciency space stuff to research the role. And no I wasn’t surprised they reached out to me. I used to sell weed to one of the head dudes there in college and he always maintained that it was my product that gave him the idea for the revolutionary “Jet Propulsive Hydro-Capitulated Fractal Fusion” which resulted in a better zero gravity bra for female and fat male astronauts.
I understand you have an amusing story involving your potato diet and massive, nearly fatal constipation. Would you care to drop that deuce, as the kids say?
No I wouldn’t, Rob. I would, however, like to discuss is the fifty you still owe me for that gay, black, Swedish clown you picked up in Tijuana this February past. Care to share that funny story?
No need, Ensign Bray. If I remember correctly, you were the one who uploaded the video to RubeTube. Back to the interview, WC.
While most people seem to think that living inside an air tight, space aged Dora the Explorer Hab would be all kinds of badass, you did face some unique problems. Which problem affected you and your loved ones most significantly?
That’s a great question, Robert.
Thanks, MC. I wish the answers would match the quality of the questions, but then, why start attempting to obtain quality now.
When I first reviewed the original version of THE MARTIAN, before you rerecorded it to match the Random House reprint, we had a violent disagreement over one small issue, which lead to you stabbing me repeatedly with a shiv made out of a Commodore 64 keyboard. Yet, I believe that after that, you were inspired to become even more immersed in the persona of Mark Watney. Do you now wish you could take that stabbing back, or at least tone it down a bit?
You mean allegedly stabbing you repeatedly with a shiv made out of an Apple II – not a Commodore 64. And while yes, I should not have allegedly stabbed you twice (“repeatedly” is a bit of a stretch, Robbie), I still feel that giving Watney a lisp and ad-libbing some lines because unbeknownst to the author, the incredible Andy Weir, Watney had Tourette’s is a bit stupid. Stick to reviews, Robb.
Further proof that you will never achieve Dick Hill status, although you have totally nailed being a dick, MT. Now, back to my insightful questions.
What is your favorite way to spell out BOOBS?
With my tongue.
Childish… (with his tongue… snickers.) You have won an Earphone Award, been nominated for two Audie Awards this year, and one Audible reviewer called your performance in the Zombie Thriller, Die Trying “pretty good.” All these accolades for a guy that seems to have a giant head. When you were a child, frustrated over the fact you couldn’t find a decent hat, did you ever think you would be this successful in a fringe industry just starting to truly find its place?
Well first, it wasn’t really that difficult to find a “decent hat” as you put it as I believe Trojan started making extra large when I reached middle school. So I was fine in my formative years. As far as becoming successful that remains to be seen. I mean, take George Guidall for example. He reached the one-thousand-unabridged-audiobooks-narrated milestone this year. But come on. It’s not like he’s done two thousand. Know what I mean? And what comes after that? Three thousand? Four thousand? I mean, how high does it go, right? Infinity. Can George, or any narrator for that matter, narrate infinity books? And if so at what price? What was the question?
Sorry, I forgot. I was distracted by the tidal impact of your huge melon.
Finally, without giving away any spoilers, can you tell us who the next major character to die in THE WALKING DEAD will be?
I hope to god its Glenn so they can create a new character for me that constantly hooks up with Maggie for several episodes before she bites it and I can move on to Darryl. I mean Michonne.
Thank you Doctor Bray for stopping by The Guilded Earlobe today, and next time, remember to put the seat down on the water reclamation unit after you are done.
Suck it, Bob.
As they say, misery loves company, so I will be hosting a Giveaway for a MP3 Copy of THE MARTIAN by Andy Weir, which was recently voted the Armchair Audie Viewer Choice winner of 2014. To enter, simply leave a comment, preferably with dirt about RC Bray, or theories what the RC really stands for (my opinion is that it stands for Rectal Confidence.) This giveway will stay open for 1 week, ending Jun 17th. Please leave a means to contact you in you comment if you do win.